How Are You Perceived By Those Around You When You Heal – 11 of 21
This is something that people don’t talk about very often and I think it is really important to discuss – How Are You Perceived By Those Around You When You Heal
When I had started this series of videos, I had released them on my Facebook and Instagram accounts first. My mom called after the first eight or nine and asked me if I was ok. She said I was looking sick in my videos and thought maybe I was unwell.
I took off my “public appearance” and she thought I was sick. This is all sorts of unsettling to me. First, the impression that women should have perfectly even skin, long, thick caterpillar-like eyelashes, and perfectly styled hair in order to look well. Second, she didn’t actually watch the videos to see why I was looking like that – but that’s another issue – LOL!
Then, after that, I was talking to another good friend about a skating adventure I had with my youngest, my partner, and his kids. This friend, I haven’t seen much of in the last year because of Covid restrictions. But when I told her about the skating, her response was, “You don’t like skating”.
What happens when we heal is that people’s image of us is based on their perception of past experiences with us. They aren’t inside of our heads and don’t know how strongly or completely we’ve shifted. As a result, they are often off-put when we start exhibiting these new behaviours because they aren’t in alignment with the way we used to behave. We seem almost out of character to them.
This friend was right. I didn’t use to like skating. My ex-husband was not an adept skater (or anything physically active) and so I had to take the lead in teaching my small kids how to do these things that I myself wasn’t very good at. It was frustrating. My ex-husband also didn’t like being too cold and so would be a stick in the mud when going out in the winter. Paul, on the other hand, is an amazing skater and is so patient and excited to teach. This lightens the experience and brings joy to it.
Once I was away from my toxic relationships and the shadows, they cast over experiences, I found so much freedom and joy in doing things that I hadn’t enjoyed before because I could do it on my own terms. This is incredibly liberating.
So, when you’ve done a lot of healing and self-growth, remember that those around you don’t have a lot of experience dealing with this new version of you. Be patient with them and allow them time to get to know the new you.
You’ll be stronger for it and so will your relationships as this new confidence and love for yourself reaches into all areas of your life.
To those, I mention in the video. I love you! Thank you for lighting up the areas that used to hold shadows!